Exhibition Text Unhealthy Habits I do a lot of unhealthy things to cope with my emotions, self-harm, avoiding to talk about my feelings, but I mostly just bottle them up. Ever since I was a little kid I had always been sad, usually after school I’d be emotionally exhausted and couldn’t keep up a friendly face. Despite everyone asking me what the matter was I would say that I was fine, that I was just tired. But I wasn’t fine, and I didn’t know what was wrong with me so I ignored it and kept it to myself. As time went on it got worse, I was either sad or angry most of the time leading me to argue with my parents a lot about my bad attitude. In all honesty I was terrified, I had no idea what was making me feel this way nor did I know how to cope with my situation. That’s when the self harming began, in moments where I had angry episodes I would pull my hair out or dig my nails deep into my wrists until I saw red. When I hit my teenage years that’s when all hell broke loose. My negative emotions went haywire and I had no one to talk to, so I kept to myself. You were able to tell when I was upset or emotionally exhausted since I would keep myself quiet instead of being the extrovert I usually was. Yet no matter how many friends would ask if I was okay, I’d always push them away explaining that I was only tired. I mean, it wasn’t like I was lying since I was emotionally strained but it still was more serious than what I was vaguely suggesting was wrong with me. At this point, self harming has become cutting and putting myself into dangerous situations, suicide has also been on my mind since I was around 9 or 10. I kept my mouth shut though and never told anyone but myself that I needed help and that I wasn’t okay.I have attempted suicide about two or three times, depends on whether or not I was caught before I had done anything to myself. Even after my attempts I’d still bottle up everything inside and keep quiet. It wasn’t easy for me not to let any emotions out but since it’s all I’ve ever done, it’s been all I’ve ever known. I’ve tried therapy but if anything I’d only feel worse. One thing that benefited me was being able to relate to other patients about our problems and the distractions we would use to ignore our problems. But even still, I couldn’t find anything that would help me other than hurting myself or keeping it to myself until I forgot about it. I wanted my piece to represent this, I wanted to show what goes on in my mind when dealing with emotions. I always feel like I’m sinking into an ocean but instead of letting out my emotions, I keep them in a glass bottle that no one but me can open.